» Taxes

Welcome The Junk Food Fairy!

jimbob — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 14:45:44 +0000

Dear Jim Bob,

Michelle Obama seems to be popping up every day in a different media forum talking about how she is changing the way America eats. Jim Bob, is Michelle going to come get my Big Mac and take it away forever. Can the government take over my menu Jim Bob? What’s going on?

Rollie Pollie
Fate, Texas

Dear Rollie,

This is going to be hard to believe but my sources in Washington DC insist that its true. Michelle has been secretly installed by her husband as the “Junk Food Czar” in the same way he has created other stealth regulators that dip daily into the private lives of Americans and nibble away at free choices. Insiders call Mrs. Obama the queen of the “Junk Food Fairies”. She is actively recruiting thousands of new IRS inspectors, each of whom will be designated as a federal Junk Food Fairy. Soon, this army of Junk Food Fairies will be dispatched under the authority of Obamacare to peer into the refrigerators of all Americans.

To understand this new initiative you have to think of the Tooth Fairy, who comes in the night to retrieve freshly extracted teeth from beneath the pillows of sleeping children. The Tooth Fairy leaves varying amounts of money behind as she slips away with the fresh tooth. The Federal Junk Food Fairies will operate like the Tooth Fairy except they will invade people’s refrigerators while they sleep and conduct an inventory of what’s kept inside. If the Junk Food Fairy finds food with excessive fat content they will take the food away, like the tooth fairy takes a tooth. However, the Junk Food Fairy will not leave any money behind – They will leave a document called a “Fat Ticket”!

The Fat Ticket will impose a punitive tax restriction on the family found to be eating unhealthy food. The penalty will be to deny the fined family the right to claim home mortgage interest as an itemized deduction on their personal income tax returns for that current tax year. The idea is that the offending food was found in a refrigerator located in a home owned by people who probably acquired the unhealthy food. Since Michelle Obama wants to “hit people where they live”, the tax deduction restriction seems to be a logical strategy.

Evidently, the Junk Food Fairies will only be tasked to invade and inspect the refrigerators of people earning $200,000 or more each year, who also own their own homes. In this way, the Obama’s primary goal of redistributing prosperity will be advanced significantly.

Without Obamacare, the Junk Food Fairy initiative would not have been possible. Other Federal Fairy programs are being considered to advance the Obama agenda, which has been secretly designated as the “War on Achievement”.

Love,

What Can be Done About Congress?

jimbob — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:52:36 +0000

Dear Jim Bob,

There’s a lot of things going on in America that drive me nuts, but my biggest beef is with the United States Congress. It seems these people are from a different planet. They don’t understand what it means to be an American and they pass legislation like a bunch of drunks at an endless party. Is there anything that can be done to fix that place Jim Bob?

Going Bonkers in Yonkers
Dear Bonkers,

Actually, the solution to this is very simple. Only two new laws need to be passed and the entire mess would be fixed in nothing flat. Here are the two laws that are needed:

1. The Congressional Reform Act: This law would require that Congress Persons must live under all the laws they pass for the rest of us. There would be no congressional exemptions for any legislation passed by Congress. This would eliminate their windfall retirement plan (100% of full pay for life and fully covered healthcare) and require them to retire under Social Security and Medicare like the rest of us. Included in this law should be other rules for what they can do with left-over campaign contributions (which can be millions of dollars). This money should go into the general treasury to be applied to the deficits Congress creates.

2. The Congressional Term Limits Act: This law would limit Congressional term limits to no more than ten years. This law alone would do more to fix the place that just about anything else. This new law coupled with the Reform Act, described above, would make them accountable where it matters: In their own pocket books!

So, Bonkers this is not a complicated issue. It’s very simple. The only problem is that the laws must be passed by the very same group that needs reform. Only a huge grassroots demand for this kind of legislation would give it a chance of passing. Personally, if a person running for President made these two laws a key piece of their campaign strategy they would attract a huge public following and support for their proposal.

Do The Democrats Want Me Dead?

jimbob — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 13:51:45 +0000

Dear Jim Bob,

I’ve been reading about this Democrat healthcare law they are trying to pass. Is it true that old people are going to be encouraged to give up and die? I’m 70 years old. Do Obama and the Democrats want me to die Jim Bob? If so, why?

Eileen Enoughisenough

Elgin, Alabama

Dear Eileen,

Lots of information is now coming out about what’s actually in the new Socialized Medicine Bill the Democrats want for all of us, but they will be exempt from participating in themselves. One of the provisions of this new plan requires anyone on Medicare to sit down every five years to be counseled about whether it’s a good idea for them to keep on breathing. Evidently these government “Death Advisors” will be trying to thin out the population of older people.

About two years ago I told a group of people that I believed government mandated euthanasia was in America’s future. Many in the group rolled their eyes and shook their head as if such an idea was ridiculous. Well, golly…here it is right on our doorstep wrapped up in a package by the same, compassionate Democrat party Americans voted into power last November. American’s wanted change and brother are they getting change!

As far as why the Democrats might want you dead Eileen, think about this: For the past 15 years people have been demanding that some kind of “fix” be created to solve the Social Security problem. What is that problem you ask? It’s that when all the baby boomers retire there will be far more people “getting” than there are people giving (those who actually pay taxes) to support them. Are you beginning to get the picture of why “Death Counseling” for the elderly might be a priority item on the Democrat agenda? If they can reduce the number of elderly people getting benefits they might be able to “fix” social security!

It’s a short trip from “Death Counseling” to mandated euthanasia. That’s when, some bureaucrat will be empowered to rule that living 75 years is probably enough for anybody. I’m sure it will be called something like prohibiting existence beyond the “Optimal Beneficial Longevity Standard (OBLS)”. When you exceed the OBLS you will be picked up in a government car and taken to the “Federal Euthanasia Center”. Of course, the Congress will be exempt from this requirement, just as they exempt themselves from many other laws they put into effect.

Obama World is not pretty.

Nancy, What Do you Really Care About?

jimbob — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 22:50:55 +0000

Dear Jim Bob,

I’ve had all I can take of your stupid blog! I first heard about it right after you wrote that disgusting post about “Will Democrats Save Us From Cow Farts?”. How dare you trivialize the global warming threat. As you probably know by now I rammed the Global Warming Tax Bill through Congress faster than you can say “HOT”. Unfortunately, a few right-wing extremists forced us to remove the cow fart taxes. It’s time you understood that we in Congress know what is best for Americans and we intend to take over their lives at every level in the next couple of years. Do you realize how much we will control when we get our Socialized Medicine Bill passed (I mean our Healthcare Security Act)? It’s time you conservatives realize that WE won the last election and we are in control! We get to do whatever we want and there’s nothing you can do about it.

N. Pelosi

Washington, DC

Dear N. Pelosi,

Yes, I understand that you lefty’s won the election and are in control. I also remember when Jimmy Carter won the White House in 1976. How well did that turn out? You know Nancy, the biggest problem with your side is that it rarely, if ever, tells the truth about anything. Take the Global Warming tax bill you folks just passed. The scientific “consensus” on the Global Warming hoax has crumbled. More and more scientific testimony is exposing this myth. That is the truth, yet your side is so invested in taxing the life out our economy that you suppress the contrary evidence. The only effect your Global Warming taxes will have will be to increase our energy costs and put us in a competitive hole economically. If you really believed all this Global Warming hysteria you wouldn’t be hot-footing it around the country in your government jet laying down a carbon footprint that “out-carbons” the excesses of Al Gore!

I understand that getting through to you and your kind by way of logic and truth is impossible. Your agenda is to just be in control and to try to stay in control and you’ll do whatever it takes to accomplish it. However, do you have grandchildren Nancy? What kind of country are you leaving them with all your left-wing legislation. Why do you willingly saddle them with debt the likes of which has never been seen in our history? Why do you want them to live in a country that has to compete with one arm tied behind its back? Why do you think individual initiative and personal success has to be handicapped by excessive regulation and taxes? I have lots of other questions but you wouldn’t care about them either.

Success is Now Defined: It’s $250,000!

jimbob — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 14:52:40 +0000

Dear Jim Bob,

I notice the Democrats are passing laws to tax the bonuses of those greedy executives who took bail-out money from the government. What’s wrong with that Jim Bob?

Rollie Retribution

Rumford, Rhode Island

Dear Rollie,

This isn’t really about those “greedy” executives Rollie.

This is really about freedom and what Democrats seem to believe about success. The law being passed is going to tax any bonus income these people receive at 90% of any amount that exceeds family income of $250,000.

$250,000 seems to be a repeating number when the Democrats talk about taxing people. It seems the Democrats have now defined the “Success Ceiling” for Americans as family income of $250,000. In other words, the Democrats believe there is a limit to the amount of money you should be allowed to make and keep! By taxing success, it lays the foundation for killing the American dream and turning us all into a pitifully, incomprehensibly, demoralized society that willingly forfeits it’s freedom via increasing use and application of the Democrat “success tax” approach.

Here’s the trick Rollie. Once the principle is established that the Government can define success as some family income level, the level can be CHANGED. Right now it’s $250,000. There’s nothing to stop it from eventually becoming $100,000! Or less.

America voted for change and it is becoming more and more clear what President Obama’s idea of change is about. I think this is really simple to understand. Here is the way it looks to me:

Why Do They Do This Stuff on Purpose?

jimbob — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 23:38:27 +0000

Dear Jim Bob,

I’m watching the President and our Congress spend all this money Jim Bob. Don’t they know it’s going to cause bigger problems down the road? Why would they do stuff on purpose that is going to be a big problem for us in the future?

Tillie Taxitis

Fairdealing, Tennessee

Dear Tillie,

Actually, all this is pretty simple. You have to understand the real strategic motivation of the political party in power. It’s a simple formula, and here it is:

The more you spend, the greater the deficit.

The greater the deficit the greater the eventual justification for higher taxes.

The higher the taxes, the greater control over individual behavior.

The less freedom of individuals means stronger positioning of government.

The stronger positioning of government increases personal dependency on government.

The greater the personal dependency on government…the more democrats get elected!

See how easy that was.

Love,

In Search of a Voice of Reason

jimbob — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 15:27:05 +0000

As we enter into troubling times in America do we all yearn for a voice that will pierce the veil of political correctness and speak the truth boldly and bravely? I certainly do and I believe that voice belongs to Alan Keyes. Alan Keyes you may recall is a former Republican candidate for President and was the last minute opponent of Barrack Obama in his Illinois Senate race. Keyes is a brilliant man who drives the left crazy with his direct approach to speaking his mind. He is marginalized by those who fear his words, but to those of us who agree with him he is a clear voice in a wilderness of left-wing insanity.

Recently, Keyes was cornered by a reporter from KHAS TV (NBC Affiliate in LIncoln, Nebraska) who did an on-the-fly interview with him about President Obama. In a style that only Alan Keyes can muster he laid out his opinions and they are words every American should hear and take very seriously. Click on the links that follow to hear his words:

On Obama and his US Citizenship: obamas-citizenship

On Obama and the Economy: obama-and-the-economy

On Obama and Infanticide: obama-and-infanticide

Alan Keyes might be compared to Winston Churchill in the early 1930′s. Churchill was ignored and ridiculed by those who did not want to hear his warnings about the true goals and objectives of Hitler’s Nazi Germany. Eventually, when the Nazi hoards began to sweep across Europe, Britain and her allies rallied behind Churchill. It is disgraceful that one of the first things President Obama did was to remove a bust of Winston Churchill from the White House. Is Alan Keyes an American version of Winston Churchill? Time will tell.

To learn more about the life of Alan Keyes, go to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Keyes

It’s Official – He knows NOTHING about REAL Money!

jimbob — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:58:37 +0000

Dear Jim Bob,

For the past 10 years I’ve been socking away a lot of my pay into my 401K. The stock market has dropped 3,000 points since Obama got elected and I’m wondering when It’s going to stop! Jim Bob, I’ve lost a lot of money since November and it was money I needed for my retirement. The other day, one of the President’s people announced that what the country needs is higher taxes and socialized medicine. The next day the stock market took another dive. Don’t they know every time they say something stupid more money flies out of my pocket?

Samantha Markitis

Bombs Away, Maryland

Dear Samantha,

I really hate to tell you this, but the President has not yet connected the level of the stock market to real money. He thinks its like a political poll that goes up and down. Click here and listen to his own words:

obama-on-the-stock-market

As you can see, he does not seem to get, or care that $3,000,000,000,000 (3 trillion) of real wealth has evaporated in the value of stocks held by millions of Americans. He does not think the stock market is real, evidently. The President just thinks it’s something that “bobs up and down, day to day”. He doesn’t seem too concerned that all that “bobbing up and down” represents your money and mine. Evidently they did not teach him much about real money at Harvard.

Samantha, all I can say is hang on to what you have left, because they are just getting started. The next couple of years is going to feel like 20!

Love,

When All the Cows Move to Boston

jimbob — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 17:20:28 +0000

Dear Jim Bob,

OK…the Democrats are spending money like there is no end to it. It seems like more and more people are going to be getting money for doing nothing. I heard this week that people on unemployment in Massachusetts can get up to $48,000 a year for doing nothing. Jim Bob, when more people are getting than there are people paying, what’s going to happen ?

Denny Deficit

Dimwit, Delaware

Dear Denny,

When I get questions like this I try to think like a Democrat (which is really hard for me to do) to answer it.

Any good left-winger would say that the evil rich must be treated like dairy cows. Just drive them into the barn a couple of times a day – hook up the automatic milking machines and suck um dry. As long as you can maintain control of the cattle and can keep driving them into the barn, you can keep getting all their milk.

Denny, did you know that all dairy cattle dry up eventually and have to be replaced by younger, fresher cows? Well, in the human economy the same principle works. When it becomes futile to keep what you earn and it becomes easier to take than to work hard - people will quit working hard. When you remove incentive, you actually destroy the willingness to work.

When the willingness to work goes, the people needed to replace all the worn out “Milk Cows” won’t be there. The goal of people will not be the creation of wealth or success. The goal will be to move to Massachusetts!

There’s only one problem. When everybody moves to Massachusetts, there won’t be any milk left to suck up and give to all the people who want it.

Will Democrats Save Us From Cow Farts?

jimbob — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 00:23:19 +0000

Dear Jim Bob,

I’m worried about the cow farting problem Jim Bob? I hear that cows are one of the biggest causes of global warming and don’t you think the government needs to do something about that – QUICK?

Fanny Flatulator

Frostproof, Florida

Dear Fanny,

I was wondering when this might come up. All I can say is that the Democrats seem dedicated to go after everything else, so they might as well go after the cow farting problem. I actually heard there is talk in Congress of instituting a “Cow Fart Tax”. Dairy farmers and cattle raisers may have to pay a per head cow fart tax of about $125 per animal. I hear that sheep, pigs and goats are not far behind.

Fanny, this is just another example of the goofy times we live in . Common sense has officially departed America and we are living in a suspended state of fiction, fable, fantasy and fraud – all being foisted upon us, as truth. The problem is that most of what is thrown at us does not pass the smell test, if you get what I mean.

Cow farting is not high on my list of concerns, Fanny. However, that does not mean our Democrat led government won’t go after it with both barrels blazing. This is just the kind of tax those folks seem to love.

Step 1: Create a crisis that can’t be proven.

Step 2: Try to make people believe taxing stuff is a proper solution for anything.

Step 3: Get the entertainment industry and the drive-by media behind it.

Step 4: Stuff it down America’s throat before they know what hit them.

That is the Democrat way.

Love,