Dear Jim Bob,

I’ve been reading your blog for awhile and I’m getting the impression you don’t care for Democrats. Is that true? Come on Jim Bob, isn’t there a Democrat somewhere that you would vote for?  Surely, there is one!

Mel Moderoso

Modesto, California

Dear Mel,

Hmmm. How could you ever get the opinion that I’m against Democrats? I mean, we are fair and balanced here, right? Yuk Yuk.

Mel, just to set the record straight, the last Democrat I voted for was the peanut farmer from Georgia in 1976 and I learned my lesson from the results of that experience. So, here is my lifelong policy concerning how I vote.

If I even suspect a candidate agrees with a Democrat I will not vote for them. If a candidate is seen riding in the same car, bus, plane or train with a Democrat I will not vote for them. If a candidate happens to live in the same neighborhood with a Democrat I will not vote for them if they live on the same street.

Also, if the candidate lives in any of the following states, I will not vote for them: New York, Massachusetts, Michigan, Wisconsin, New Jersey, Washington or Oregon.

I will not vote for anyone who lives in any of the following cities: New Orleans, Austin, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Albuquerque, Chicago, Minneapolis, Philadelphia, Cleveland or Boulder.

I hope that clarifies my voting policy.