Dear Jim Bob,
Michelle Obama seems to be popping up every day in a different media forum talking about how she is changing the way America eats. Jim Bob, is Michelle going to come get my Big Mac and take it away forever. Can the government take over my menu Jim Bob? What’s going on?
Rollie Pollie
Fate, Texas
Dear Rollie,
This is going to be hard to believe but my sources in Washington DC insist that its true. Michelle has been secretly installed by her husband as the “Junk Food Czar” in the same way he has created other stealth regulators that dip daily into the private lives of Americans and nibble away at free choices. Insiders call Mrs. Obama the queen of the “Junk Food Fairies”. She is actively recruiting thousands of new IRS inspectors, each of whom will be designated as a federal Junk Food Fairy. Soon, this army of Junk Food Fairies will be dispatched under the authority of Obamacare to peer into the refrigerators of all Americans.
To understand this new initiative you have to think of the Tooth Fairy, who comes in the night to retrieve freshly extracted teeth from beneath the pillows of sleeping children. The Tooth Fairy leaves varying amounts of money behind as she slips away with the fresh tooth. The Federal Junk Food Fairies will operate like the Tooth Fairy except they will invade people’s refrigerators while they sleep and conduct an inventory of what’s kept inside. If the Junk Food Fairy finds food with excessive fat content they will take the food away, like the tooth fairy takes a tooth. However, the Junk Food Fairy will not leave any money behind – They will leave a document called a “Fat Ticket”!
The Fat Ticket will impose a punitive tax restriction on the family found to be eating unhealthy food. The penalty will be to deny the fined family the right to claim home mortgage interest as an itemized deduction on their personal income tax returns for that current tax year. The idea is that the offending food was found in a refrigerator located in a home owned by people who probably acquired the unhealthy food. Since Michelle Obama wants to “hit people where they live”, the tax deduction restriction seems to be a logical strategy.
Evidently, the Junk Food Fairies will only be tasked to invade and inspect the refrigerators of people earning $200,000 or more each year, who also own their own homes. In this way, the Obama’s primary goal of redistributing prosperity will be advanced significantly.
Without Obamacare, the Junk Food Fairy initiative would not have been possible. Other Federal Fairy programs are being considered to advance the Obama agenda, which has been secretly designated as the “War on Achievement”.
Love,
The Tucson shooting of a member of Congress has provoked responses and statements from politicians that are quite disturbing, yet fascinating. The knee jerk response from the left promoting the idea that the shooter in Tucson was motivated, inspired and provoked to action by the likes of Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh and other conservative commentators is a theory that is condemned by the right and supported by the left. The most ardent supporters of this theory appear to be liberal members of Congress and their lock-step liberal counterparts in the media. The question is this: What has produced the thought processes of these people that led them to concoct this theory?
The first thing to recognize in evaluating this phenomenon is that the people who are proclaiming this theory actually believe it. This is not purely an instance of political hacks trying to turn people against conservatives. They really believe that conservatives and the public expression of conservative principles have the power and potential to send people into the streets to assassinate elected officials. They sincerely believe that conservatives are “evil”. It is here we find the issue that has lit the fire of fear in these people to the extent that they are demanding the elimination of free speech for anyone who has an effective conservative voice.
One thing members of Congress have traditionally done is to insulate themselves from real life that the rest of us have to live and deal with as a result of their legislative behavior. You see this in the fact that Congress routinely exempts its members from the laws they pass regulating the lives of other Americans. In their self-created cocoon of denial they live with their perks and only go home to be vulnerable to their constituents during elections and holidays. The remainder of the time they shut themselves up in an environment designed to insulate them from the realities of the bizarre world they are creating. By that, I mean that they ignore, discount and belittle the opinions of other Americans about what is important, such as securing our borders, opposing government healthcare, objecting to Cap and Trade legislation, and condemning off-the-chart spending. They are able to comfortably stay in an insulated world of diminished reality until something like the event in Tucson happens. They have interpreted the horror personally and are thinking: “That could have been ME!
The minds of the people on the left who have raised this theory of conservative influence on potential assassins have suddenly focused their minds on just how mad their constituents might be about the way they have been behaving. The tragedy in Arizona has come on the heels of the earth-shaking November election when the American people sent a very powerful message of disapproval of all things Congress! In the minds of those on the left it is a logical progression to believe this electoral rejection (which was caused by conservatives) has now escalated to the level of political assassination! In other words, the shooting in Arizona has (in their minds) become visible proof of just how upset the American people are with them and they are terrified for their own safety (political and otherwise). In other words they are beginning to really fear the people they represent. This Tucson tragedy will no doubt produce a sharp reduction in the “town meeting” format all across America.
The left views conservatism as an evil force because it has the potential to disrupt the political cocoon they have created for themselves and force them to become accountable for their political elitism. In their minds, the recent election and the shooting in Arizona are of the same cloth. Both events are seen by the left as extreme forms of rejection for their legislative behavior and they see conservatism as the foundational cause of that rejection. Therefore, the solution to this threat is to throttle the voices of those who influence and promote conservative thought. Who are the two most high-profile conservative voices? You guessed it – Palin and Limbaugh! Therefore, the cause of their fear and the cause of the shooting in Arizona must be Palin and Limbaugh and their clones. The solution of the left is to smear them both and influence people to accept the premise that conservatism is evil.
They are obviously willing to trample the Constitution in the process.
